No. Really. Shalom.
Now, lets get the small talk out of the way first:
It’s finally here. The last 4 days as an underclassmen in highschool. Do you know what this means? DO YOU? Cause I sure don’t. Doesn’t really seem that exciting to me, but, meh, its gotta be worth something. I really don’t want to take my exams. At all. I won’t do great on any of them, but, not terrible either. After exams, summer starts. First stop? Myrtle Beach. Thanks to the kind hospitality of the Vlasic family, i will be spending the first true weak of summer in Myrtle Beach, along with Andrew Keila. It is going to kick ass like ass hasn’t been kicked since the 60’s. But thats not what you are hear to talk about. I know what you’re here for, and for those of you who know i know what you know you’re here for, i suggest just skipping the next paragraph. But to those of you who are reading this spontaniously and not because i told you that you should, please, read on.
I still have my car. Its not broken or impounded or worse. Im saving up money for all kinds of fancy parts for it, and such, might even be getting a summer job (shudder). I can drive and you probably can’t and that makes me happy in pants.
And now.
Ladies (what?) and Gentlemen.
Your Feature (did i spell that right) Presentation
Many of you have been (annoyingly) following what has become known around the world as Shaved head ‘05. Yes, the deal i made (silly me) that if i didn’t get a girlfriend i would shave me head (read a few posts back). Well, for the past 2 or 3 weaks, i have been pestered constantly about this topic, to which i responded with 4 simple words: Covered Like A Jimmyhat.
For those of you that don’t know what that means, urbandictionary.com is your friend (look up pron while you are there).
Now, I have told you i was going to Jew my way out of this, and, here it goes.
Brian Tan was so kind as to make this entire thing easier, by constantly reapeated “All you need is one date. Just one date and thats it”. While i was going to hold our for the whole ‘relationship’ thing, Brian’s definition sounded much better. So let’s assume that Brian is right.
Now, looking further into my deal, i say:
“I, Nathaniel Lloyd Wilkie, Born April 26th, 1989, Will have a girlfriend at one point during the 2004-2005 school year, or, i shall shave my head for final exam week.”
Now. For the jewing/being covered like a jimmy hat.
This was really a loaded deal from the beginning. Kinda a publicity stunt, cause, as you are probably well aware of, i am an attention whore. This is beacause a few weaks BEFORE the deal was made, i did, indeed go on what would be described as ‘a date’. Now i know, all of you are wondering one thing “Who Nate? Who in God’s Name (Nate Wilkie) had the honor and privledge of going out with you, oh mighty athletic one?” While i will tell you.
And you will be dissapointed.
Emily Lardener.
That’s right, someone that none of you know. Go fucking Figure.
For those of you who only wish you were really really cool, Emily went to Roeper with me before i came to DCDS. Me and her were good friends at Roeper, and remained so after i left. I hadn’t seen her in over a year at the time of ‘the date’. We wondered around Birmingham, went over to the Roeper school, just kinda chilled.
I rest my case.
I would like to give a very special thanks to Brian Tan for making this whole thing possible. Without you, every one would be looking at their reflection on the back of my head.
