Lets get ready rumble!!!!!!!!1111!!!one!!!
I am once again updating this. Its been a long time coming, but i have managed to convince myself its worth it. As i said, its been a long time, and i don’t know where to begin, but i’ll start out with bowling. Now, in case you havn’t heard, i tried out for the bowling team, and bowled like complete ass. But, i made it anyways. Also, the meaning of life: Pie.
Now, on to what i really wanted to tell you: Ron Artest is a stupid as he is stupid. Thats right. I said it. In case youre isolated on a small tropical island with nothing but a computer linked to my page, and havn’t already heard, Ron Artest, a proffesional basket ball player, leaped into the stands at Detroit and assulted many fans. For those of you who look at life as more than just a big playplace for my amusement, it may have been scary, even terrifying. Me, i just thougth it was hillarious. Anyways, after this, Ron Artest was suspended without pay for 1 year, meaning he lost about 5 million dollars. In a vain attempt to make him look a little less like Todd Bertuzzi and a little more like Raffi, Artest went on the today show to explain his side of what happened, and , more importantly, promote his new CD. I first saw this interview today, the 29th, online (nullnullfound here) and within 2 minutes i had to stop. Not because i was appaled at the message he was sending, or because dinner was ready. No no, i had to stop so i could grab a sheet of paper and a pencil. Why you ask? why would a sweet, innocent boy like me need a pencil and a paper to watch the Ron Artest Interview…simple, my dear Watson…to count the amount of times Artest said “uh…..”*. Apperantly, someone forgot to mention that this interview WASN’T a contest against Matt Louer to sound the stupidest. The Result: In 11 minutes and 14 seconds, Ron Artest out “uhhh…”ed Matt Louer 85-1 (est.) You heard. 85-1. that means he repeated this now infamous line every 7.9 seconds or so. Watch it for yourself. Its astounding. Louer just couldn’t keep up with this shock and awe bombardment of intelligent speaking, scoring only once about halfway through the interview. One excerpt i found peticularly rediculous was at about 5 minutes into this interview, when Louer asked Artest “What would’ve happend if you had just done nothing”. At this point the figurative floodgates of verbal stupdity were blasted open as if they were Hiroshima around WWII. The very fecal-matter of language that caused such destruction read “It was scary when it (intelligible ramblings) came on me, cause it was beer, and it almost came in my eye, and-and the cup…i was like, wow. it was just like wow, the cup and the beer almost went in my eye. so it was just like, wow, you know like…um…” Now, it might sound bad when i type it, but go ahead and see for yourslef, its even worse in real time. Upon further research, i disovered that Artest attended St John’s university, and would suggest all you would-be-public-speakers out there avoid that alma matter at all costs.
Now that i have that out of the way, i feel i must inform you about Andrew Keila’s goaltending career at DCDS. IN his first 7 games, he has 0 wins and 46 Goals against. I have made a Excel Spreadsheet of this, and will be updating it throughout the season. This spread sheet depcits the Goals against and progressive GAA my game number. For reference, i have also included Martin Brodeur’s Goals against and Progressive GAA. Printouts available Upon request.
And now, after gracing you all with my writing once again, i will perish into the night, until i am inspired once again to enlighted you all. except for Neil, even Buddah himself couldn’t enlighted that kid.
