Lair of the Hoodedcarrot

I just can’t stop posting this shit

“Chocolate, Salty Balls”

Two tablespoon’s of cinnamon,
and two or three egg whites.
A half a stick of butter. Melted
stick it all in a bowl baby.
Stir it with a wooden spoon.
Mix in a cup of flour,
you’ll be in heaven soon.

Say everybody have you seen my balls
they’re big and salty and brown.
If you ever need a quick pick me up
just stick my balls in your mouth.

Oooo suck on my chocolate salted balls
stick em in your mouth, and suck em!
Suck on my chocolate salted balls,
they’re packed full of vitamins, and good for you.
So suck on my balls.

Quarter cup of unsweeten chocolate,
and a half a cup of brandy.
You throw in a bag or two of sugar
and just a pinch of vanilla.
Grease up the cookie sheet.
Cause I hate when my balls stick.
Then preheat the oven to three fifty
and give that spoon a lick

Say everybody have you seen my balls
they’re big and salty and brown.
If you ever need a quick pick me up
just stick my balls in your mouth.

Suck on my chocolate salted balls.
Put em in your mouth, and suck em!
Suck on my chocolate salted balls,
there packed full of goodness, high on fiber.
Suck on my balls.

[sniff, sniff, sniff]
Hey, wait a minute.
What’s that smell.
Smell like something burning.
Well that don’t confront me none.
Long as I get my rent paid on Friday.
Baby you better get back in the kitchen.
Cause I got a sneak’n suspicion.
Oh man baby, baby!
You just burned my balls!
Help me, my balls on fire
baby
my balls are burning
give me some water!
Pour some water on me!
my balls are burning
oh my goodness,
I’m blow’n
I’m blow’n
do somethin

Oooo Suck on my chocolate salted balls.
Put em in your mouth, and suck em!
They’r on fire baby!
Suck on my chocolate salted balls,
put em out baby, blow
ohh
Suck on my balls baby
Suck on my balls baby
Suck on my, red hot, salted, chocolate balls
come on baby
woo, woo
suck on my balls.
[blow blow]

Its tuesday. I missed school yesterday with a case of the mondays. Also, Im 15 now. You know what that means. In 364 short days, Nathaniel Lloyd Wilkie will be able to drive. Alone. In a car. Leagally. You should start panicing. In other news, the Red wings lost, which is bad. But, on the brighter side of things, I’m beating the jew 2-1 with 1:40 left to go in game 1 of the Stanley Cup Table Hockey Finals, Season number…..shit…i dont know. Either way, im winning, and jew’s losing, and this is all good.

In the Words of Jack Handy:
“I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.”

Oh yes, thats the shit.

Speaking of shit, why the hell am i swearing all of the sudden? Do i think im cool or somthing? Don’t i know that it just make me look like an arrogent, slef-centered, disrespectful re-tard? And who the hell puts a hyphen in re-tard? God damn, im hungry.

-But mommy! I want ice cream!
|Mood: If an ant came up to you, and was wearing a blue hat, what would you do?
|04.25.04 3:56 am
|I love the weekend. Partly because both the days start with S, but mainly because of the lack of sholastic activity. I doubt i used sholastic in the right context, but you know what i mean. Friday after shcool i want to Birmingham with an old friend, Emily, from roeper. We had good fun. Very much good fun. Then my sister took me to a party, and i had better fun. Very better fun. I still smell like illegal. Today, i did nothing, and liked it. I would do more nothing tomarrow, but i have a People to People meeting to attend. The weekend is half over, and thats depressing, and that means somthing, cause im not the easily depressed type. I was supposed to play hockey with friends today, but i didn’t get home form last night until it was too late.

In the words of Jack Handy:

“I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he’d spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he’d yell out, “Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!” We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.”

Warning! This Entry contains Adult Material not suitable for children! If you are scared of dirty things, or mock-homosexuality, run and hide….run and hide.

Here it is, the conversation between me and someone i don’t know, pure genious, if i do say so myself. The begging isn’t me, its keila, and he is humor-impared, but stick with it, and it will begin to get better (Phone Numbers have been changed, cause you people scare me): (more…)

First off, a joke, from that tall Sophmore “Brad”: “Hey Guy’s, whats gay and gay and gay and gay and gay…..ANDREW KEILA!”. Fuck yeah. You know you love it. In other news, i need a haircut, but am too lazy to go get one. All day i have been shooting pop cans with a BB gun. More fun that is sounds, at least a sheltered vidiot like me. yes thats right, vidiot, that was no typo, interpret it yourself you lazy whore. My dad shot a squirrel with a BB gun, and it was funny. I tried, but missed. Later this week i will post an interesting conversation i had on AIM way back when. Its funny, you should look forward to it. Oh! I almost forgot! A song should listen too: “Big Balls” by AC/DC. and, for kicks, a song you Shouldn’t listen too: “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi” by Weird All.

I should be sleeping, but im not, and such, i am going to complain about school being soon. 3 days left. well, 2 days, it was 3 when i woke up this….last…morning. gah, now youve got me all confused. great job, lick-shit. well, if your reading this, its obvious that you have nothing better to do, so, here is (insert drumroll here) (gosh im clever) My List Of Things You Should Be Doing Instead Of Reading This, or MLOTYSBDIORT for short. #1: Try and pronounce Mlotysbdiort, then comtemplate its meaning if it were actaully A word. well, thats all for now, there wont be more, i promise. that bed to my right is looking mighty confertable right now. peace out, as the hooligans say.